A note to potential elected officials everywhere

so, yesterday afternoon, while sitting in the funeral home, i finally get the chance to ask my father a question that has been on my mind for a long, long time now. no, not the secret to happiness or being a good person or even how to achieve world piece. i ask something quite dear to my father’s heart… who is he voting for in the upcoming primary election.

now, if you’re reading this and haven’t seen the movie Brewster’s Millions, i suggest you go watch it before you read beyond this sentence. all i have to say about the entire slate of candidates, on both sides of the isle is, NONE OF THE ABOVE.

seriously, you people are pathetic. i RARELY will use such language without adding a smiley or a wry grin, yet for some reason i can find no other phrase that applies quite so well as that. its not that the people running for an elected office are all bad people, most of them are probably very nice people. people that i would love to have as neighbors; people that i would enjoy spending a few good hours talking with over a nice cup of hot tea.

yet, when it comes to actually considering voting for any of these people, i can’t help but want to go throw up in the trashcan of one of my more annoying neighbors. it seems as if there is just a major lack of talent among people who have any desire to be public servants.

but, given the fact that those who want to be public servants would have to want to put up with the likes of voters, represented by me. people who each have their own agenda, all of which conflict with one another, all nagging anyone who might possibly listen to their nattering on about personal pet peeves and projects.

oh, and did i mention the bad pay? well, relatively bad pay, considering the job they’re asked to do. if i had to work with government employees, i’d want a pay raise, too.

still, if i were to run for election, i would think that any time i had any interaction with the press, or answered questions in an interview, especially a written one, i would do everything that i could to ensure that i didn’t make myself out to be one step shy of illiterate.

ok, maybe i exaggerate a bit, but given the fact that in my job i am paid partially on my ability to translate the requests of individuals into a coherent statement of thought, i would have believed that someone wanting to be in public office would have the same ability.

if someone wants to serve the public, they should at least be able to explain how they intend to do so. don’t believe me that i’m overstating things? just check it out…

I have more experience in the duties of the office, I have mananged more people and been an excellent team builder. I can multitask, I am honest and I will listen to the people who elect me and find what they want and how to serve THEM.

how exactly is multitasking an ability that can improve someone’s ability as a public servant? also check out the fact that someone has ‘mananged’ employees, yet can’t figure out how to actually spell the word. what really disappoints me is the fact that this was just one of many poorly worded and depressingly disappointing posts detailing the aspiring servant’s past accomplishments and dreams of the future.

well, they weren’t dreams as much as they were mild hallucinations.

so, after an hour of so, i least bad ones from the list and tomorrow will cast my ballot for the ones who revolted me the least. democracy at work.