My part time job

For those of you who do not know, I’m a decently hard working man. I usually put in a few hours of overtime every week at my regular job, commute nearly an hour each way to that same job, and then work a part time job in the evenings. On any given day, I put in at least 12 hours of work related activities.

Now, if you don’t know what my part time job is, you might, when I tell you in a moment what it is, say, “THAT’S NOT A REAL JOB!!!” So, before I tell you what my second occupation entails, let me assure you that it is a real job and that I make more money per hour doing it than I did at the last job I had before becoming a salaried employee. This job isn’t physically straining, nor is it really mentally straining, but it does at times become tiresome. I mean, really, there’s only so much of it I can take without going insane.

There are good things about the job though, namely, I keep really up to date with most anything that is happening with pop culture and I find out all kinds of interesting things, like how the World Trade Center was actually a staged demolition and was admitted to by the lease holder of the property! Fascinating!!!

If you haven’t guessed my job by now, it is probably because you wouldn’t believe that I get paid, and paid well for doing it. So what is? Get On With It, you say? Fine. I surf the web. Ayep, that’s it. I sit in front of my computer, go through a list of links sent to me and categorize the links, based on several criteria. Sound easy? To an extent, but considering the failure rate of applicants trying for the job is believed to be greater than 50%, its not as easy as you might think.

Here I will present a few reasons as to why this job is hard and why so many people ditch out on it so very quickly. If I told you who I worked for, which I will not as I tend to like my little money maker, you’d go “WOW!”, or at least you would if you’re as big of a geek as I am. You might be tempted to think why in the world anyone would not want the job, but just try doing it for a while.

First reason… repetition. Try going through several hundred web pages in a couple hours, marking them for how well they met a query, checking for spam, porn and actual content! Then explain why you feel the way you do, in detail. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. This seriously can be the new version of working on an assembly line, putting the same bolt in the same hole, every day for years on end. Monotinous. Thankfully, once you get over the first boredom hump, for me about 1 month into the job, you learn to do your work with as little thought as possible. Your mind starts seeing clues to the page’s makeup and ratings come almost unconsciously.

Second reason… stupid people. Yes, I know, they’re part of everyday life. Yes, I know, if I was the only person on the planet, I still would have to deal with at least one stupid person. Still, at least my stupidity does not come close to equaling what these people do.

For example, one of the things that I have enjoyed rating in recent months is videos. Even though video sharing sites are now pretty well know, it seems that many people out in the world are still completely ignorant about how these sites actually work. People are CONSTANTLY looking for items such as these wonderful queries I have rated today:

hot girls kissing hard nude
hot massage oil
hard core
all indian xxx
men having sex with doll

See, it works like this… a huge site, even ones that are hated by the media corporations because of ‘rampant piracy’, could not stay in business and remain as popular as they are, if they hosted porn. They just couldn’t. The outcry against them, about them poisoning the minds of our youth, would be deafening.

Yet, you would be amazed that half of the queries I see, things people have actually searched for on these site, are porn related. In the couple years I’ve been a regular visitor to these sites, way before I ever got this part time job, I have not seen as much as a nipple, buttocks or any other body part that you can’t see because of a swimsuit. You would think that people, after doing a search or two, would figure this out. Nope. In the few months I’ve been rating clips on these sites, there has been no decrease in the number of searches for these terms. It just amazes me.

A third thing that really bothers me, and this one is the most subjective complaint, is with the actual content on video sharing sites. Look, I’m not a professional writer. I don’t claim to be, but I don’t preface every single blog posting here with “I’m not a professional” or “be nice, post a comment, and tell me how much you loved this post” or the most annoying to me, “this one sucks (sux, sukz, or whatever wrong spelling you choose) but the next one will be awesome!!!! RWAKZERSZSZS!!!?!?!?”

Yes, its great so many people can now share their creative talents with others, but do we really need you to tell us how bad these things are? If we watch them, that is self evident. Using canned frame wipes, montage footage from other people’s work, soundtrack from the latest Korn album and some snazzy text graphics telling us you did all the edit work does not in any way lead me to believe you’re Steven Spielberg and whipped that up in your spare time.

The worst offenders would be those who slap together anime clips. Yes, the original artwork is fabulous, no doubt. I am glad you want to share your passion with others, but at least learn how to normalize the audio so its not deafening or near silent. I have never made a video in my life, but having at least done a cursory look at video editing tools (I use a Mac, and since those tools come preloaded on the machine, I have them) and know it isn’t that hard, especially if you put in the week’s worth of work some of these editors claim. If you’ve got that much spare time, you need a part time job, preferably one that allows you to shred others creativity and spare us all from yours. You know, what I’m doing right now…