My friends Forrest & Vicky are saints to put up with my antics, especially the ones I perpetrated at their wedding. Its surprising that, not only are we all still friends, but that I survied the weekend and they didn't end up in jail.
When Forrest first asked me to be in their wedding, I was thrilled to do so... then he told me they were getting married at a park that was adjacent to Lake Erie (turns out, it was a river, not Lake Erie, but that does ruin the story a bit). Now, I'm a big fan of the movie The Crow (the first one; the rest do not exist), and one of the best lines of that film was when one of the vilians says to his arsonist crew, right before they begin some mayhem, that "You know, Lake Erie actually caught on fire once from all the crap floating around in it. I wish I could've seen that."
A note to all of you out there, when a friend asks you to be in his wedding adjacent to Lake Erie, the proper response is anything other than the above quote. For those who know me, you realize I'm far from proper. Vicky looked me straight in the eye and says, "Ted, I'm only going to say this once... you do NOT set the lake on fire for our wedding!"
She wasn't joking, either. I had a minder following me around the entire time we were at the park, ensuring that I would not set the lake (river) on fire in "honor" of their marriage.
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